I’m worried that you’re mad at me. It’s been eating at me for two days. I haven’t said anything though because you’ve told me that it hurts you when I ask if you’re mad at me. All I can do is sit here until you text me which may not happen because you might actually be mad at me and it’s not just me overthinking things again. I’m stuck. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
I want to give up. On everything. I’m tired of being afraid. I know I can misinterpret things and assume the worst but sometimes the worst is reality and it’s experience that’s taught me that lesson. Sometimes, the boss really IS gearing up to discipline you. Sometimes, your emails ARE being monitored. And sometimes, you really DID hurt your friends enough for them to stop speaking to you.
But I can’t ask. It would hurt you. I don’t want to do that anymore. I’d rather hurt myself. I’m used to that.