Stuck

     I’m worried that you’re mad at me.  It’s been eating at me for two days.  I haven’t said anything though because you’ve told me that it hurts you when I ask if you’re mad at me.  All I can do is sit here until you text me which may not happen because you might actually be mad at me and it’s not just me overthinking things again.  I’m stuck.  Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

     I want to give up.  On everything.  I’m tired of being afraid.  I know I can misinterpret things and assume the worst but sometimes the worst is reality and it’s experience that’s taught me that lesson.  Sometimes, the boss really IS gearing up to discipline you.  Sometimes, your emails ARE being monitored.  And sometimes, you really DID hurt your friends enough for them to stop speaking to you.  

     But I can’t ask.  It would hurt you.  I don’t want to do that anymore.  I’d rather hurt myself.  I’m used to that.

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1 thought on “Stuck”

  1. Give your worries to God, if you are willing to let them go. Because everything that is hidden is to be uncovered. Do not expect the worse.. perhaps hope for the best. Because God can give you the best. Whatever you are accusing yourself of, you have already been forgiven by God. Forgive yourself, because it is not your trueself, but negative forces that battle you within your mind. Your soul wants to be happy, let yourself be. Things will unfold the way that are supposed to, because God has a plan. Good luck, and God bless.

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