Almost made it

I’m not feeling REALLY awful, but I’m not feeling as good as I was the other day.  I almost made it a whole 24 hours without crying but that record is shot to shit now.  Since August 14th, I have not gone a single day without crying.  I’m a wee bit sick of it.  It’s only going to get worse since the company Christmas party is next week and I would, if I hadn’t fucked everything up, be making plans to go with my best friends.  I won’t be going this year.  Period.  I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I’m sure having an ear infection contributes to this awfulness in general.  Until earlier this year, I hadn’t had an ear infection since I was a kid!  This makes twice in one year that I’ve had an ear infection.  It started hurting yesterday afternoon and I was able to see my doctor before work this morning and immediately started antibiotics.  I am NOT going through that bloody awful pain again.  Hopefully it doesn’t get much worse.  I’m not an optimist even at the best of times, but I might have a slightly more positive view if it weren’t still 2016, AKA The Worst Fucking Year of My Life.

Again, FUCK YOU, 2016!  And you took Ron Glass now, too!  You took Shepherd Book!  If you get anywhere NEAR Neil Gaiman, I will dickpunch you.


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