Talk to ME first

So after I posted last night, a person with good intentions decided to contact my father because of what I wrote.  They did not attempt to talk to me first.  I’m sort of speaking directly to them here, but if you’re someone who actually cares about me, my mental health, and my family, feel free to read because apparently I need to make this clear.

This blog is my “venting outlet,” more or less.  I need to be able to feel that I can write freely without constraints.

Yes, I have this blog set up to post to my Facebook timeline and Twitter feed.  BUT I HAVE BLOCKED MY FAMILY MEMBERS FROM SEEING THOSE POSTS.  I have my reasons for not sharing this blog with them.  Those reasons are none of your fucking business and this blog is none of their fucking business.  I wasn’t all that worried that they’d stumble onto this without a direct link.  And they didn’t.  YOU had to forward it to them.

If you are, at any time, concerned about me, email me.  My email address is on the front page of this blog and it’s accessible in my photos on my Facebook profile.  If you have my mobile number, you can use that.  Don’t message me on Facebook because I’m not on there anymore.  Use email or my mobile.

What you WILL NOT do, is not even attempt to contact me and instead contact someone else.  I’m sure your intentions were good but you actually did more harm by contacting them instead of me.  That makes me fucking livid.  I get that people worry.  But sending a message to my father without trying to talk to me doesn’t show me that you were trying to be a good friend.  It shows me that you wanted to feel good about yourself by showing off how wonderfully compassionate you are and you wanted to feel like a hero.  You could have tried talking to me first.  That would have shown me that you are a good friend but if you’d done that, then you and I would be the only ones that knew that.  You wouldn’t get credit from anyone else for how awesome you are.

I have said all of this before on Facebook.  It pisses me off that I have to say it again.

If you had tried to contact me and I didn’t respond or I responded in such a way that made you genuinely fear for my life, I would understand if you contacted someone else.  Nope.  You went right to my father.  You just had to prove that you’re a savior and cause my family to be even more stressed out than they already have been.  I wouldn’t be this angry if you were someone I spoke to regularly but I honestly can’t recall the last time I had a conversation with you, either online or off.  We’re not close.  Where the fuck do you get off dragging my family into your rescuer drama?

I’m also pissed because I might now need to log back into Facebook to block you and I haven’t been on there in over two months.  Such a nice way to rub some salt and lemon juice in an open wound.  Engaging on Facebook is not good for me.  If you read this on Cracked, one might say it’s not good for anyone.  This blog publishes to my feed and there might be one or two other things that will post to Facebook without me having to do anything.  I do miss interacting with certain people, but me being able to cope is more important to me right now.  Maybe I’ll go back eventually, I don’t know.  But now it feels like I’m forced to and that pisses me off.

It’s really easy to tell whether or not someone has posted something on Facebook with custom privacy settings.  Here’s a Google image search result for you just in case you don’t know how to tell.  Most of my posts have that little gear on them which means I have hidden them from certain people.  So thanks for forwarding this blog to one of those people I had it hidden from!

Bottom line: talk to ME first.  Talk to me before you drag others into things.  If you can’t be bothered to do that, please don’t bother with me at all.