Attitude right now…


I feel so stupid for thinking and feeling this way right now but I want more than anything to be able to text or call my friend so we can talk shit about the election.

But I can’t.  She and everyone else in her house and everyone we have in common hate my fucking guts.

Sure, we have Halloween to get through yet but right on the other side of that is Christmas.  That’s a bad time of year for me anyway and I’m honestly questioning if I’ll get through it at all this year.  It’s been exactly two months since I got home from the hospital and today is one of those days I’m wishing I hadn’t fucked up my suicide like I’ve fucked up everything else I touch.