I know that I need to learn about and understand BPD in order to start getting better. I can’t change anything that’s already happened. But I can’t help wishing that I had known all this stuff I’m now learning long ago. I wish that the people I’ve hurt could know this stuff, too, not only so they can possibly understand why I’m so screwed up but so they could understand that my behavior has hurt me just as much as it’s hurt them, if not more. They don’t have to deal with me anymore. I still have to deal with me and I now have to somehow “fix” myself. Since I’ve blocked them from pretty much everything, they won’t. I made that choice because I have to let go and try to focus on getting better. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Author’s website: Healing From BPD